Illustrated history: Skeleton girl

I have a skeleton inside me, the girl thinks. No matter what my skin is like and no matter what my clothes are and no matter how fat I am, there will always be a skeleton inside me. It will do its best attempts at rising me up. It will keep me from falling apart. It is what I need. I love my skeleton. Thanks, God.

Illustrated history: Dreaming woman

She dreams of being a lonely woman. You know, one of those who lie on the bed and wish for something to happen in her life. That's why she just dresses up in her gown of flowers and lies on her bed while crossing her arms and looking at the light outside. Like she was a part of a painting. She feels a bit like her grandmother then. Sadly, most of the time she is a busy businesswoman and not lonely at all.

Illustrated history: Poor man

That poor man. That's what everyone passing the square were thinking that day. There he was, with the cap on his knee, head in his hands. He must be very sad or sick or homeless, they thought, not even considering helping him.

But really, he was just tired. He had been up all night drinking wine with this woman he'd just met at a concert held by his grandson, the pianist. And he needed to sit down for a second, contemplating all the happiness that was suddenly coming his way.

Images can lie, you know. So go talk to people.

Illustrated history: Fur and bikini

When she was a little girl she loved a bunny named Peter. He wandered around in the house, as a familyrabbit, sleeping in his favourite spots, leaping in to the air and jumping up on the sofa to cuddle. She cried her heart out when he died nine years old.

Illustrated history: Blind chick

She is the perfect poser. With her heart shaped glasses and her pouting mouth. She knows exactly how to catch people's attention and she does. Over and over again. Like in this picture, hanging in the neighborhood cafe, to be admired by many as they get their morning fix.

But behind the glasses is a dark secret. The darkest of them all. Nobody ever suspected she couldn't stare right back at them. She is the blind chick with nowhere to look.

Illustrated history: Police man

Ever since he was a little kid he dreamed of being a police man. He would watch police cars with such a devotion and dream of all the villains he would catch and murders he would solve. Now the young boys look up to him with his tough attitude and a baton in his belt. But inside he is just sick of it all. He is sick of yelling and sick of telling. Sick of being in charge of useless people. Sick of his wife cheating on him because he never is around.

He is just always at work. Doing things he is sick of.

Illustrated history: Shady lady

Oh, how she desires the shadow. Not to be in the shadow, but to actually be it. To create a dreamy silhouette that is only partly human, only partly herself. She has always enjoyed the light. Because it gives her the opportunity to be the darkness in it all. Bliss.

Illustrated history: Pancake boy

He just loved to eat pancake. The happiest moments in his life was when his mother placed a stack of pancakes in front of him when he was a boy. She was a single mum working in a diner and it was the only way to keep him quiet by one of the tables. Soon her guests started calling him the pancake boy. But the pancake made him fat, and no one wanted to talk to him in school. Now his mother is not around anymore. And he wishes she would have spend some more time with him instead of making him pancakes.

Illustrated history: Celebrity couple

"We are a celebrity couple", Tom thinks as he removes a hair from Gisele's shoulder. "How picture perfect we are. And how intimate we must seem in this very scene. When really it just bugs me a lot that my woman has a hair in the wrong place. But my hair is good. And oh, how I love her. She is Gisele. The woman of my dreams. And everyone else's".

Image source

Illustrated history: Birthday girl

It's her birthday today. No one mentioned it at work, so she figured they were all planning a surprise party and just being discrete. Then she remembered she had nothing to wear, so she tied some fabric around her body to go nicely along with her pearls. And just so her friends wouldn't think they fooled her completely, she bought a balloon to take home.

But when she switched on the lights in her little apartment, nothing happened. No one was there. So now she's at home with her balloon all by herself taking her own photo.

It's a lonely world she lives in. If only she had been on Facebook.

Illustrated history: NY lady

Of course she heard about them. The women that dress up in designer clothing and pursue a career in New York while being young and single. It's the most popular city in the world for the young and trendy, she thinks while passing posters for Sex and the City and its likings around town. But for her it's just her home city. It's where she grew up. It's everything she's ever loved and hated. This is where she got married and where she burried her husband. It's where her children left her to never return again. And it's where she'll die. She's hoping it won't be long now.

Illustrated history: Drowning woman

The woman decided to drown herself one day. She had been reading way too much Virginia Woolf and felt they had similar stories. She walked into the water in the stream beside her house, carefully leaving her silk dress on the large rock by the shore. Trembling as the cold water covered more and more of her body. But then she remembered. She is a Chinese woman. And Virginia was English. Maybe they weren't so similar after all. That's when the drowning woman decided not to drown. Lucky her dress was neatly folded and ready to wear again.

Illustrated history: Swimming pool lady

I have a swimming pool in my garden. People think I am very lucky to have that swimming pool. But the thing is, it's actually pretty sad. Because when I am not swimming in it, no one else is either. And it is just lying there all empty and blue.

That doesn't make me happy at all.

Illustrated history: Lighthouse man

He enjoys walking out to lighthouses i Bretagne, There's something about the light. And the sea that washes over him. All he wants is for the tourists to see the fisherman he pretends to be. When really he is a business man in Paris. Dressed in a wet suit to not catch a cold. You see that would simply cost him too much.
(Picture from here)

Illustrated history: Cactus woman

When she feels sad and blue, she walks down to the green house and stare at cactuses. She doesn't know if it is their form or texture or a combination of the two, or maybe the fact that her late husband once killed her cactus, but she loves the way they make her feel. She he could stare at them for hours.

Some summer shopping

Summer vacation is perfect for shopping. Especially when everything can be done outside in the sun with a laptop on you knee. Here are the delights that will arrive in a post office near me very, very soon:

This mug, that I just adore. It's from the fantastic blog Stuff No One Told Me, and it says "Good imagination is a sign of great intelligence". What a great message for those dreamy cups of tea:

This audio book from Norli.no. I love this book series that I've just started to read, Min Kamp by Karl Ove Knausgård. It's easy to read, but I've decided to hear the next read out loud to me while relaxing in the sun:

A Rachel Gilbert dress I couldn't stay away from while browsing Net-A-Porter. It's like a piece of summer night heaven captured in one dress:

This Camilla and Marc dress from Net-A-Porter for a wedding I'm looking very forward to attending:

And these Jimmy Choos from Nordstrom.com for the same wedding:

Now all I need for that wedding is a tall date...

But I also bought a couple of flats from Miu Miu just in case:

And in the end this lovely bed linen from Etsy.com. Because my bed will be kept busy this summer, and it deserves to look good as well:

Have a lovely summer. I'm sure I will <3

A little something for Madde?

Could Princess Madeleine find her prince charming, just like her big sister? Seems like she needs a little help.

Online Scandinavian media is overflowing with stories about the swedish princess Madeleine and her ex prince not so charming Jonas Bergström these days. Turns out he didn't just double dip, but fooled around a lot more and even made a collegue pregnant. Well, I am not surprised and I don't care. He wasn't suitable for Madde anyways. But she really is such a nice girl who would look great in a wedding dress. So, part Swedish and inspired by this weekend's oh so wonderful events as I am, I can't help but wonder: Who could be her McDreamy? Let's explore some options:

10. Kåre Conradi:
It would have been nice if Madde decided to explore the Swedish-Norwegian relationship and find a man over here. Kåre Conradi is picture perfect with his clean voice and . Being the best man of his buddy Ari Behn, Kåre showed he knew how to behave around royalty, and I'm sure he would be nice to Madde. Although maybe a little bit boring in the long run - and just so we're clear, this is a long run we're looking for.

9. Karl Ove Knausgård:
And speaking of Ari, the success of our own princess was finding an exentric actor to stay in the spotlight. And boy, can Norway offer Madde that. Karl Ove Knausgård has had the pleasure of sharing every detail of his personal life with Norwegian readers in five large books published recently and to be followed by a sixth. Plenty of material to make the press' job easy, and maybe oit would be refreshing for Madde to hook up with this good looking, crazy 40 something with plenty of Swedish experience? It would give Knugen a heart attack, but hey, there's a fantastic crown princess eager to replace him anyway.


8. Didrik Solli-Tangen:
Madde needs someone who is good at staying away from the media. Didrik Solli-Tangen is our man here. He hates attention. And he does have a lovely set of eyes and a heart that could be yours. But then again, I ask myself, what else does he have to offer? Not sure I can think of anything, so let's skip him.



7. Alexander Skarsgård:
I always seem to return to this hunky actor. I know. But wouldn't it be perfect? I mean, Madde  is spending time over in the States, and Swedish people abroad always tend to hook up. Perfect man, sort of reserved and very good looking. Probably a true gentleman as well. My only concern is that he has been naked on television a couple of two to many for being a prince. Plus maybe the fact that he seems to be hooking up with the most boring actor on the planet, Kate Bosworth, but that does seem like a detail when Madde comes knocking. And prince Alexander does sound very good to me.

6. Petter Northug jr:
Norway's best cross country skier likes to annoy people by playing poker these days. But I am sure Knugen likes poker as well, and that Petter would annoy the Norwegian sports council even more by marrying a Swedish princess. Risk is of course that he would leave her as soon as he get the needed attention, but he should first remember he need a little something to retire on when his career is over in a couple of years. He sure would look good in those chains Knugen likes to carry around.

5. Jonathan Rhys Meyers:
The British haven't been so keen on the royal weddings recently. Maybe due to the fact that they haven't had much success in that area themselves. Perhaps a solution would be to involve them more actively in the marriage process. I can't think of any better Brit than Jonathan Rhys Meyers. In my opinion he's the hottest man alive, and I'm sure he's nicer than he likes to appear. British cockiness does however suit the royal highnesses quite well.

4. President Obama:
What better for the princess of Sweden than to bring home the prince of America from US? Obama is already good with international spotlight and even Knugen would like him and his nobel peace price. Guess you don't need more introduction.

3. Tiger Woods:
I talked to Tiger the other day. He told me he was ready to settle down, find his perfect woman and never ever be unfaithful again. I actually kind of believe him. I mean, he is such a nice fellow, and Madde should be the woman to not blame him for previous behavior and still keep him on a leash.

2. Robert Pattinson:
Yummm, a vampire for breakfast, lunch and dinner. If Madde were to go for safe and American, Robert Pattinson is about as safe as it gets while still being very, very dangerous. Vampires are all about sex and Robert Pattinson is all about looking amazing. What a striking combination!

1. Robert Downey jr:
9 men are at least 8 too many, so I tried think of how to fit all of them into one body. That's when I came up with Robert Downey jr. He's as picture perfect as Kåre, as exentric as Karl Ove, almost as media shy as Didrik, as perfect as Alexander, as annoying as Petter, as cocky as Jonathan, as famous as Obama, as unfaithful-gone-faithful as Tiger, as dangerous as Robert P and as beautiful and amazing as only Robert Downey jr can be.

So people, let's here it for Prince Robert and best of luck finding him, Madde! 

Love? Really?

What is love? Baby, please hurt me.

I just had this very nice romance in Lisbon. I mean, I was totally crazy. Just believed so much that I had found the man of my dreams. He was everything I wanted, I told him. And I was happy from the first date, ready to move to Lisbon and give up my life for the man. I thought I could never find anyone as perfect and that all my life I had been looking for him. It was all the clichés coming true all at once, and I loved the man on the first night. We had champagne and late dinners and late mornings and hot sex. We went for long walks and held hands. I ate way too many carbs, and even had cake the last day. That is me being crazy, you should know.

Now, less than a week after I saw him, I don’t get it at all. It’s not that I don’t still think he’s a great guy. But I don’t see what was going on in my head. I am not in love. I am not willing to move to Lisbon because of a man. Of course not. I don’t even want to get married. Ever. How crazy was I back there? I am almost ashamed of my own behavior.

Maybe this is what a holiday romance is all about: The opportunity to live the fairy tale for a little while. Just to do it all in a short period of time because deep down in your unconscious mind you know it will end. And since the world tells you you should be looking for the man of your dreams, you are just willing to believe it for a second there. But really, I just wanted the share of romance this man was willing to give me for a couple of days. Just to stack up. Now I am content for a long time to come. 

So we both knew when he drove me to the airport: No, I was not to come back next week. It was fun, but now it is over. Please hurt me right back.

My fairy tale

I have been to fairytale world today. You know that place where all the castles are and all kings and queens and princesses and princes live. In Portuguese it is called Sintra. Here is my report from the land of the fairytale:

Princess I still live in the tower in the castle. She is now a tourist attraction, but since tourists prefer lifts to climbing, she cut her hair:

All the beautiful princesses that were so luckily transformed back from their bewitched swan bodies, discovered they liked swan life better after all and visited the evil witch again. They now fly freely and happily above the landscape, but the King II misses them so much he had them painted above his bed:

Prince XXI was kind of mad when all his sisters got more attention than him. He is now a pyromaniac. The castle guard therefore installed a fire hydrant so that the castle won’t burn while tourists are visiting:

Princess III is sick of Prince III. She secretly meets with the castle guard down these stairs, that are not open to tourists:

This is Princess IV’s kitchen. She dreams of a top class new Miele electrical stove, but the King IV says no, tourists don’t like to look at that and UNESCO won't like it either:

No one took care of the house when Princess II moved out and her mother died. Instead they just built large houses around it.The owner would like to tear it down, but UNESCO says no way:

Princess V loves ecological living and is a converted socialist. That is why she made her English gardens into a community garden, where every citizen can grow their own vegetables.

Queen I lives in the castle high up on the hill. You may think she is very happy with her view, but really she 
just hates having to walk the steep hill up to her house. Especially after her husband, the late King I, died, 
she just wishes she could live in a minimalist flat by the sea. But the people of the town think this is the best 
place to live for a queen:

Queen II just wishes her husband wasn’t so fond of diverse architecture. Like Queen I, she is more of a 
minimalist herself:

Princess VI taught her child how to read. The King I had her made into stone before she transformed more 
from the role of the beautiful doll:

See that man over there? He is trying to make himself into a frog so that someone will kiss him. But he keeps 
forgetting princesses don’t like frogs so much anymore:

This is my favorite Princess. She runs the small, antiquarian bookstore downtown. Please remember those 
are the best princesses of this world, and help her keep parts of the city from being made into car parks for 
tourists:

And I also found my very own Prince Charming in Portugal. But really, this is all you get of him. Because he 
does not belong to this fairy tale world. He belongs to the real world. And he only belongs to me <3

Signs of Lisbon

It's the signs that mark the city. Little signs everywhere that tell you how to behave, where to go and what's going on at the other side of the door. Here's today's signs of life, with love from Lisbon.

First, the beautiful sign. Neat and elegant and probably photographed by many tourists. Nice, but not very interesting:

Then the street sign. Simple and inevitable, yet stylish and beautiful. Signs as they shall be:

 

 I think the most beautiful signs are the ones that just blend into the wall and make a perfect, everlasting entity:

The most interesting is the old, worn sign. I love how it tells you about the long life of the shop and of the greater times that passed:

 Then there are the sign that tries to tell you not to do what you just feel like you have to do. Those are the sexiest signs I know:

 

Some signs are just messages written on the wall. Instant meaning to the ones who made them, but might outlast generations if put in the right place:

And some signs are just altered - from the original meaning to the additional one:

Oh, and don't forget the message from one person to another. To be adored, envied and maybe even hated by others:

Ah, the feelings that these signs give you! I am inspired and soon ready for a hot, late date in Lisbon. I love this city. And all the signs of it <3

My Caterpillar Lisbon

Oh, the joy of noise. It shakes up our picture perfect life and shows us the world is alive and moving and going somewhere. Arriving in a new city, it’s the noise I first experience - Because it shows you the lives of the people who live there.

Let me show you the noise I saw through my lense today.

It's the Caterpillar Lisbon. You know, not that little larval with many feet, but the large machine. It is the tourist square all filled with Caterpillars and people doing their work. I found the meeting between the beautiful square and the noisy Caterpillar to be almost poetic:

There is a fence. We are not even let inside. This is the area of the workers – not to be experienced by the tourists. I find the workers kinda hot in their sweaty, bossy kind of way. They now rule this area, and we can only watch them.

This is not a museum, it is the work place of several people.

Even noisier. Even more alive. Even sexier part of Lisbon. I love the shifting, stinky asphalt and the machine heading directly for the colonialist arch.

Even the ferry terminal is noisy. It's made for travel, not beauty. And yet, it is so beautiful.

Oh, but yeah, if you absolutely need to sit down under a three, just take this one. There are plenty of them. Just sit down and mind the Jesus in the far, far back.